


Perfect Heathens

by Dharma_Snowbush



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bounty Hunters, F/F, this is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 16:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9911153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dharma_Snowbush/pseuds/Dharma_Snowbush
Summary: Anne & Diana are at the end of their line. Needing cash and with no other choice, Anne takes a gig as a bounty hunter at Green Gables Bail Bonds.





	1. An Epoch in Anne's Life

As Anne tightened her boot, the anxious feeling in her chest tightened too. She quickly looped the lace into a small knot and stood, looking at her reflection in the dusty mirror leaning against the wall. She felt under-dressed for a job interview, but it was the best she could do. The black henley was worn on the elbows, but most of her other shirts were otherwise stained and ripped. No one would even notice how threadbare her shirt was if she wore a jacket. Anne checked her phone. She still had a few hours before the interview, but she also knew she was going to have to walk halfway across the city to get there. The last of her cash had gone to rent after spending an hour on the phone begging the electric company to give her a two week extension. She was completely tapped out. She needed this job. 

Pulling her shoulders back and giving herself a final once over, she sighed, quickly tying her red hair into a messy braid and kicking some discarded clothes underneath the bed. She made her way into the living room, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Diana was still passed out on the couch, exactly where Anne had left her. Anne reached down, smoothing some of Diana’s hair and placing a kiss on her clammy temple. Diana had come home in the early hours of the morning smelling like bourbon, but at least she made it all the way back to their apartment this time. She went to the kitchen to fill a glass with tap water and dug out two aspirin from the back of a drawer. Diana would need it when she woke up, Anne assumed, feeling like death warmed over.

She set the glass down on the shabby trunk that served as a coffee table and picked up Diana’s jacket off the floor where it had fallen when Diana peeled it off before collapsing onto the couch. Anne checked her phone again, more nervously this time, slipping on the beat up canvas coat. She tried not to think about how they were nearing the end of the line as she locked the apartment door and headed for the street. Neither had any family to speak of, there was no safety net for them. Anne pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket and looked at the address again. Gil had scribbled it down in a rush on his way to the bus station. He heard from a friend of a friend that a bail bond agency needed some help. They had been losing a lot of business from bail jumpers and were getting gouged by “independent contractors.” Gil had talked to the man at the office and arranged to be their in-house recovery agent. Gil was pretty sure that was a colorful way of saying bounty hunter, but he wasn’t one to turn his nose up at work. 

That was until he ran afoul of the Pye family and needed to make himself scarce. Anne didn’t press Gil for details, but she had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the Pye’s youngest daughter, Josie. On his way out of town, Gil had given her the address and told her not to take no for an answer once she got there. 

_“You’re tough,” Gil said, hugging her tightly. “I know you can handle it.”_

_“Thanks, Gil.” Anne said, tucking the paper away. “You know how much I need this. Because Diana-.”_

_“No,” He cut her off. “You don’t have to explain.”_

_Anne watched Gil board the bus, but he stopped on the second step, turning to look at her over his shoulder._

_“What is it you’re always saying?” He smiled._

_“We’re both heathens, which makes us kindred spirits.” Anne rubbed her eye, stopping a tear threatening to slip down her cheek. She had known Gil practically all her life. He had been with her during her two stints in juvie. For a long time, he was her only friend and was still one of the few people she trusted. “Now get out of here before George Pye finds you and knocks your skull in.”_

Anne stopped on the corner, the address of the building across the street matched the one Gil had given her. She steeled her resolved and crossed. The office occupied the bottom floor of an old three story brick walkup. As Anne descended the stairs, she finally saw the name of the agency. On a faded sign nailed to the door, there was a crude drawing of house with “Green Gables Bail Bonds” painted around it. She paused, amused by the disconnect between the charming image and the reality of the business, before pushing the door open and entering.

When Anne stepped into the office, she was greeted by a cloud of cigarette smoke and the smell of stale coffee and unwashed bodies. She coughed, waving a hand in front of her face trying to gain her bearings. 

“Yeah, what do you want?” A low gruff voice shouted from an unidentifiable location. Anne looked around before spotting an older man entering from a back room and taking a seat and the desk.

Anne cleared her throat, “I’m here for the job.”

The gray haired man looked her up and down before answering. “What job?”

“I heard you needed a bond recovery agent.” She said carefully.

“Nope.” The man said in a clipped tone. “That job has been filled.” He lit a cigarette and blew out a puff of smoke. 

“Yeah, that’s the thing, I talked to Gil. He had to leave town unexpectedly, so he sent me. My name is Anne Shirley.” She put her hand out, but the man continued to stare skeptically at her. Another voice coming from the back room broke the tension.

“Matthew! Who is there?” A severe looking woman came storming out, pulling a man roughly by his collar. “Sit there.” She shoved the man into a seat near Anne. “So.” She said, looking at Anne. “Who is this?”

“Just some girl, Rilla.” He stubbed out his cigarette in a heavy looking ashtray. “Says she’s here for the job.”

Rilla looked incredulously at Anne. “I’m sorry, but we were expecting a man named Gilbert Blythe.”

“That’s what I was trying to explain,” Anne started again. “Gil left town, he sent me.”

“Well, we ain't got no use for a girl.” Rilla said. “We need someone who can handle the work.” Rilla smoothed her tight bun with an air of finality, but Anne stayed put, trying to think of how to appeal to the older woman.

“Hey, Red.” The man Rilla had shoved into a chair spoke to Anne. “If they won’t hire you, I’ve got some work I’m sure you can handle.” Anne flinched at the obscene implication.

“Jimmy Harrison, I don’t remember asking you to open your mouth.” Rilla spat. “Sit there quietly until I get a chance to process your case.” She turned back to Anne, “I’m sorry you came all the way down here, but you’re not what we’re looking for.”

Anne looked back and forth between the man and woman. The man, Matthew, was giving her a soft, apologetic look. “Please,” Anne pleaded. “I promise you I can do this job.” Rilla and Matthew said nothing, so Anne continued. “I’ve lived in this city my whole life, I know every corner and back alley.” Matthew and Rilla gave each other a look Anne couldn’t decipher. “You both are my last chance. I need the work.” 

Before either could respond, Jimmy Harrison interjected. “C’mon, Red. Why don’t you give me a chance?” He reached out, grabbing firmly onto Anne’s backside. In a flash of anger, Anne snatched the lamp off of Matthew’s desk and smashed the glass shade down onto Jimmy’s head.

“What the fuck!” Jimmy shouted, holding his hand against his bleeding face.

Matthew and Rilla watched the scene impassively. Matthew lit another cigarette, “You have no one to blame but yourself, Jimmy.” he said. “Rilla told you to keep quiet.” He tossed Jimmy a handkerchief to help staunch the bleeding.

Anne set the remnants of the lamp back on the desk. “I’m going to go now.” She said quietly. She turned to leave.

“That lamp is coming out of your first paycheck.” Rilla said, her voice stopping Anne before she reached the door.

“Seriously?” Anne said breathlessly.

“Of course I’m serious. I bought that lamp for Matthew’s birthday.” Rilla opened a drawer and rifled through some papers. “Matthew will get you set up with some paperwork. Come back tomorrow morning and we’ll start you out with your first case.” She grabbed Jimmy Harrison by the elbow and lead him into the back again. Anne looked at Matthew and was surprised to see him grinning at her.

“Welcome aboard,” He said, shaking her hand.


	2. A Solemn Vow and Promise

When Anne returned to her apartment, it was nearly dinnertime. She stood in the dim hallways with her keys in her hand and prayed Diana would be inside. She wasn’t sure if she could handle spending the entire night either out looking for Diana or staying up, worrying about her. Unlocking the door, she stepped across the threshold and breathed a sigh of relief to see Diana sitting upright on the couch, reading a magazine. 

“Hey, you’re awake,” Anne said, dropping her keys onto the kitchen table. She crossed the space in three steps to kiss Diana before settling down onto the couch next to her. 

“How are you feeling?” Anne asked lightly.

“Fine,” Diana answered, not looking at Anne. 

“You hungry?” She asked, wrapping her arm around Diana and gently rubbing her back.

“Sure,” Diana said, closing her magazine and leaning into Anne. 

“I think Mrs. Yan is still paying us in dumplings from the time Gil and I set up that wifi network in her restaurant. I can go downstairs and check.” Anne said.

“That sounds nice,” Diana smiled.

Instead of getting up, Anne pulled Diana closer, rubbing circles with her thumb on the skin of Diana’s hip. She could hear Diana exhale contentedly and relax against her side. Sitting together like this reminded Anne of the first day she moved in. It wasn’t much of a move, Anne was a bike messenger, couch surfing with friends at the time. All of her possessions could fit in one duffel bag. She remembered how nervous she felt, putting her things away in the drawer Diana emptied for her. But that night, when they curled up on the couch eating too much Chinese food and pretending they were the only two people in the world, Anne knew this was exactly where she wanted to be. 

“So where were you today?” Diana asked.

“That job Gil told me about. I had an interview.” Anne smiled widely, leaning over to kiss Diana again. “Good news, I got it. I start first thing tomorrow morning.”

Diana furrowed her brow, “You mean that bounty hunting gig?”

“Yeah,” Anne said uncertainly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Diana paused, “Well, don’t you think it’s a little unsavory? Not to mention dangerous.”

Anne leaned back against the cushion. “I mean, I guess.” She rubbed her eye, suddenly feeling exhausted. “But I don’t have much of a choice. We need the money.”

“Maybe you should wait to find something else.” Diana rested her hand on Anne’s knee. 

“Be reasonable D, it’s not like I’m overflowing with marketable skills. I didn’t even graduate high school.” Between bouncing between foster care facilities and spending stretches of time on the streets, school was never a priority for Anne. It was especially low on her list of concerns during the days when she didn’t know if she was going to find food or a safe place to sleep. 

“Think about it Anne, is this really the career you want?” Diana pressed.

Anne felt an anger start to bubble up in her chest. She stood sharply. “We don’t have any more time, D. This is it, we’re totally broke. If I don’t take this job, I don’t know what will happen to us.”

“I understand, Anne. You don’t have to yell.” Diana shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you really understand? We’ve got to do something now, OK? We’re behind in our utilities and that’s not even mentioning the pile of medical bills that aren’t getting paid at all.”

“Oh, so this is my fault.” Diana said. Anne closed her eyes. She knew she shouldn’t have brought it up, but every time Diana ended up in passed out in the ER, it was another $1000 they didn’t have. 

“D, I’m not blaming you, I’m just doing my best to keep our heads above water.” Anne tried to reach for Diana’s hand, but she pulled away.

“I don’t need you to take care of me!” Diana shouted. “I chose this, remember? I gave up everything to be with you!”

Diana’s words burned right through Anne’s heart. It was a low blow, Diana knew how much pain it caused Anne to be reminded that their relationship was the reason Diana’s parents disowned her. When Mr. and Mrs. Barry discovered their relationship, they made Diana choose between Anne or her inheritance. Anne knew Diana didn’t blame her for the situation Diana’s parents put them in, but it didn’t stop Diana from bringing it up during their more heated arguments.

Anne’s temper flared. “Fine! Go out and get a job then! But you know you’re not exactly great when it comes to holding down steady work.” Anne yelled back, escalating their fight. She knew nothing good was going to come out of this, but her temper always seemed to get the better of her in these moments. “What are you going to do when the heat is shut off and you don’t have any cash for Wild Turkey? What then?” Anne watched as Diana’s anger melted away into hurt and immediately regretted her words. She exhaled forcefully through her nose. “I think I need to get some air.” Anne said in a quieter voice.

* * *

By the time Anne returned to her apartment for the second time that night, it was much later. The living room was dark and as she tugged her boots off, she wondered if Diana was out drinking the memory of their fight away. Anne was surprised to find Diana asleep in their bed, blankets pulled up to her chin. She slipped as carefully as she could next to Diana, trying not to wake her. 

“Anne?” Diana said.

“Sorry, D, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Diana shifted toward Anne, pressing their foreheads together. Anne could how red Diana’s eyes were and her tear streaked face. 

“I’ve been thinking. Maybe you should leave me. I’m gonna hit rock bottom and I don’t want to bring you down with me.” Diana started crying again.

Anne grasped both sides of Diana’s face, leaning in to kiss away the tears running down her cheeks. “That’s not going to happen, I’m never going to leave you. This job is going to get us back on our feet and then you’re going to get some help and you’re going to go back to school and get your degree and we’re going to be fine. Do you hear me? We are going to be fine.” Anne repeated the words like a mantra, not sure who she was trying to convince more, Diana or herself. Anne wrapped Diana up in her arms, holding her tightly as Diana cried herself out again. Eventually, she felt Diana’s breathing turn slow and steady.

“I’m sorry I’m so weak,” Diana whispered into the darkness of their room. 

“You’re not weak,” Anne whispered the words back into the skin of Diana’s neck. “You put up with my shit, so you’re tougher than you think.” 

Diana chuckled softly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Hey!” Anne said in mock outrage, “You’re supposed to tell me what a delight I am to be with all the time.”

Anne felt Diana’s breathy laugh on her cheek.

“I love you Anne. And I’m sorry for what I said, you know that I would choose you over and over, no matter what, because being with you makes it all worth it.” 

“I know, D. And I love you too.”


	3. Anne's Bringing-up Is Begun

Anne woke early the next morning. Diana was still asleep, looking more at peace than Anne had seen her in weeks, so she did her best to get up and dressed as quietly as possible. She was nervous, but determined, like Katniss Everdeen being sent to the Hunger Games, Anne was ready to do whatever it took to survive. Ok, so she wasn’t going to murder anyone, but it was one of Diana’s favorite books and had insisted Anne read it. She claimed Anne, like Katniss, would stand up for what she believed in. Knowing Diana had faith in her gave her the extra boost of confidence Anne needed that day. Stepping onto the street, she immediately pulled the collar of her jacket up, blocking the wind of the chilled morning from biting the back of her neck and started her walk.

Matthew was sitting at his desk sipping coffee when she arrived. 

“Morning, Anne. Ready for your big day?” His voice was gruff, but she still found him oddly calming.

“I think so,” She sat down and unzipped her coat.

“Alright, so first of all, sign right here.” He slid a piece of paper toward her. She grabbed a pen from a dingy looking mug and went to jot her name down on the bottom, but stopped just before she signed. Matthew had printed her name on the form, A-N-N. Anne filled in the final ‘E’ before signing her name below.

“Wait,” She stopped, the contents of the document catching her eye, “This says I completed a six week bail enforcement training course.”

“Yeah?” Matthew barely acknowledged her comment.

“I didn’t.” 

“I’m sorry,” Marilla’s voice cut sharply in the room as she joined them, “I assumed you wanted to get started right away. You made it sound pretty urgent, in fact.”

“Well, won’t someone find out I never actually attended any training?” Anne asked. 

“I’m not going to tell anyone, are you?” Marilla huffed.

“No?”

“And Rilla happens to be a notary public,” Matthew said, tapping his finger on the stamp that marked the bottom corner of the form, “So as far as the law is concerned, you are a full fledged bounty hunter. Congratulations.”

“OK,” Anne said. “What next?

Matthew reached under his desk, giving a drawer a hard tug by the handle. It opened reluctantly with a protesting squeal and Matthew retrieved a manilla folder from inside.

“Here,” he said, dropping the file open on his desk, “This is your first case.”

Anne slid the thin file closer toward her to get a better look. There was a mugshot and an arrest warrant as well as a simple one page document with some additional information typed on it.  
“Leon Kowalski,” Marilla supplied, “Arrested for some small time illegal gambling. Didn’t show up for his hearing last week.”

Anne looked at the photograph of the young man with close cropped hair and wide nose and felt a wave of regret wash over her. He looked scared and Anne was suddenly unsure if she was going to be able to do this job.

Matthew took notice of the hesitation in Anne’s demeanor and put a hand on her shoulder. “Listen Anne, he’s a nonviolent offender and doesn’t have any licenced firearms. You should be safe. We gave you an easy skip for your first go ‘round.”

Anne picked up the file, doing her best to steady her breathing and ease the tightening feeling in her chest again. She tried to imagine Leon Kowalski was an evil criminal mastermind, responsible for the murders of hundreds. Anne thought it would make is easier to hunt him down if she felt like he was a person capable of truly heinous acts who needed to be brought to justice. 

“But,” Matthew continued, “No one is gonna make you do this. If you want out, just say the word.”

“If you’re gonna go all yellow-bellied on us, do it now so we can see about replacing you before we lose another skip.” Marilla grumbled.

Picturing Leon Kowalski with facial scars and an eyepatch wasn’t helping, so Anne thought of Diana instead. This job could save them. Anne could save them. If she could just make enough money to let them get ahead of the bills, they might stand a fighting chance. They could get out of this downward spiral that would most likely end with one of them dead. She tried to remember the time before things had gotten so desperate. They hadn’t always been teetering so close to the edge. When they met, Anne was working as a bike messenger and Diana was still in law school, their lives were relatively average. 

Anne remembered the first time she saw Diana. Anne regularly ran deliveries to and from the law office where Diana worked as a part time paralegal. Anne was in a hurry that day, although now she couldn’t recall the reason why, and was dreading getting caught in a never-ending conversation with the office secretary. Ruby, Anne was pretty sure that’s what her name was, always felt the need to unload all of her relationship drama regardless of Anne’s level of interest. Anne walked quickly to the desk, head down, hoping that would be enough to signal to Ruby that she wasn’t planning on listening to an oration of the shortcomings of men. Shoving the package and pen over the desk, Anne was slightly surprised when Ruby made no attempt to hook Anne in conversation. 

“Have a nice day,” a soft, sweet voice said, handing the pen back. Anne’s eyes snapped up, realizing whoever was at the desk was not Ruby. Who she saw was the most beautiful woman Anne had ever seen; black eyes and hair, a merry grin, and rosy, dimpled cheeks.

“I’m Anne,” Anne said as an answer to the woman’s non-question. “With an ‘E’.”

She laughed, “Ok then, Anne-with-an-E. I’m Diana.”

Diana smiled widely at Anne. Anne was in love. 

She made deliveries for weeks, suffering through endless conversations with Ruby if it meant getting to see Diana again. When Anne finally worked up the courage to ask her out, which Diana happily accepted, they went for a walk in the park. They talked about everything and nothing and Anne slipped her hand in Diana’s, lacing their fingers together as they strolled through the trees. Six months later they were living together in the apartment they still shared.

But that was all before. Before Anne’s bike crash and stint in the hospital. Before Diana’s parents found out she was gay and living with a woman, choosing to cut her off completely and saddling her with enormous student loans. Before Diana’s drinking worsened with the stress of school and their mounting debts. But even as things started to fall apart around them, they had each other. That’s what Anne was fighting to save.

“No,” Anne said firmly, “I’ll do it.”

“Alright, then. Good.” Matthew pulled a beat up backpack from underneath his desk. “Everything you need is in here. A burner, a camera, the bail piece and any other paperwork a cop might need to see if you’re stopped. But I doubt you will be.”

“There’s some pepper spray too,” Marilla added, “But if you end up sticking with us, you may want to consider getting yourself a gun.”

Anne nodded even though she would never even consider carrying a gun. She picked up the backpack and slung it over her shoulder. “Well, I guess I’ll get started then.”

“Listen, this Kowalski guy isn’t that smart, he’s probably holed up with his girlfriend somewhere. Her last known address is in that file, but remember,” Marilla said seriously, “You can’t go into anyone’s house or nothing.”

“Is there anything else I should know?” Anne asked.

“Not really, just don’t go doing anything stupid. Now get outta here,” Marilla said, returning to the back room of the office.

“Good luck,” Matthew said, smiling warmly at Anne.


End file.
